-for anyone who's bothered to ever visit my page..if ya don't really care, don't bother reading. I'm bored..so you can't expect interesting things-

yo.
My name is James. I'm 22 years old, and currently taking time off from classes to sort and correct parts of my life that have gotten unruly, and overall, bad. Before taking said break though, I attended a college in New York state (they shall remain nameless to protect them from embarrassment) for upwards of four and a half years..nine semesters...and successfully fucked up every single one of those semesters with mediocre or just downright missing work and projects (Well, except for one semester..I got a 3.5 ...woo).
I attended said college to learn the in's and out's of Computer Graphics, having the stupid notion that one day I too could help make those oh-so pretty games for consoles and pc's that would help bring out the inner most wild imaginations of players all around the world..apparently, this job is noted as "code monkey", and is therefore pointless as something to aspire to. One of my teachers told me that..that I was aiming too low..sucks for me I guess.
Well after all said and done, I know close to nothing about digital illustrative programs, such as Photoshop; I know a little more than nothing about 3D programs, such as Maya and 3d Studio Max; and, I in fact know nothing about editing programs.
I also know nothing of timing, animation, or anything else that would make me any kind of asset to the CG world or in fact the regular world itself.

Others I know though have been far luckier. A friend of mine (again, nameless to provide aninimity from my failure) in fact works for this very site, and seems to thoroughly enjoy it. He, and his art, is something I've come to envy. Though that's not so odd really...I'd give near anything to have 1/10th the ability of some of the fantastic artists on this site. It won't happen though...it just isn't in the cards.

I've tried to figure out how things can work out so differently from one person to the next, with one going on to success and the other proceeding down the road of self-defeat. The only true thing I've found is that I've no one to blame but myself.

So, when I say this, I truly mean it from the bottom of my heart, as I always have....
fuck. me.

k. I'm done.